Some Friendly Input

Here's some which Alison's friends have kindly helped to recall...

One of Daniel's favourite conversations with Alison occurred when she mentioned she had been having difficulty controlling her credit card spending and had hidden her card to prevent herself from using it:

Daniel: But if you've hidden it, surely you know where it is - where did you conceal it?
Alison: In my purse
Daniel: Where in your purse
Alison: Behind another card
Daniel: Did it work?
Alison: No

The Vertical Road.. On travelling in Wales, Alison noticed a 25% gradient sign

Alison: But isn't that almost vertical

Daniel just loves the idea of the Highways Agency commissioning, signing-off and paying for a road that suddenly plunges drivers to certain death.

The Long Road..Again on travelling in Wales, this time down a street with about 5 houses on it. They reached the last house with 1905 carved into the front.

Alison: That must be the house number

And some fond memories courtesy of Simon....Whilst discussing phobias.

Alison: I've not got a phobia of spiders, I just don't like the look of them and don't like being near them! I'm OK with fish as long as I can't see them!

Whilst visiting Anglesea, Simon asked if there was a beach to swim on...

Daniel: They have a mafia experience at the aquarium where you can sleep with the fishes!
Alison: You've lost me there
Stu: They use concrete blocks tied to your feet to weigh you down
Alison: I thought that they used horses' heads?!

That's about it for past recollections (unless someone has a sudden flashback experience) from here on in it's in real-time baby!

Some more recollections...

On phoning Steve at home & his mum answering
Hilda: Oh, so you're back from your holiday then?
Brenda: No, I took Steve's home phone to France with me!

On hearing a strange noise at Center Parcs
Hilda: Oh a sealion!
turns out it was a dog not a lost sealion in the middle of Thetford Forest!

Historical or Hysterical??

Now here is a list of all the Hilda Comments which we can recall from days gone by.

On a coach trip skiing, on exiting from the tiny, grotty coach w.c.
Hilda: That toilet really takes the piss.

On being told we were going to watch the school play: "Toad of Toad Hall"
Hilda: That'll be nice, lots of little kids dressed up as frogs.

Whilst playing pictionary and drawing a smart chap in a suit.
All: We give up what is it?
Hilda: Conservatory
All: What???!
Hilda: Sorry I thought it said Conservative.

On travelling through a train tunnel on the Ipswich line.
Gav: This tunnel is the longest tunnel in the world
Hilda: No!
Gav: Yep really, the longest in the world
Hilda: Really?

On holiday in Florida, being driven by a mate.
Hilda: So does cruise control mean you don't have to steer then?

On holiday in Florida
Gav: Did you know that the word "tailgating" originated here?
Hilda: Never!
Gav: Yep it comes from when the Alligators chase after the car bumpers
Hilda: Blimey!

After visiting the Big Sheep in Devon
Hilda: Look they do a special readmission offer here
Gav: Yeah if you come back and can answer 3 questions about sheep correctly you get in for just £1
Hilda: Really?

At Wembley, watching Ipswich in the Championship Playoff
Hilda: What happens if it ends in a draw?
Gav: The team mascots come out and take penalty shots
Hilda: Really?

That's it for now. More to follow as we remember them!

Introducing....

... the wisdom of Hilda.

The time has come, before age & infirmaty overtake us all, to record the wisdom of Hilda T. Builder.

This blog is dedicated to preserving those little insights & comments which make our Hilda so dear to us.

Firstly some background...

Hilda The Builder was born one night several years ago on a drunken train ride from Liverpool Street back to Chelmsford. Alison (as she was known then) commented on the physical perfections of a passing gentlemans bottom and henceforth was known as Hilda the female builder.

Over the years our Hilda has provided us with endless entertainment with her guilability, faux pas & double ententdres.

This blog will attempt to record those comments so they are preserved for all eternity.